A response and addition to https://writefreely.bubbletea.dev/shibao/a-final-call-for-lifeboats and https://eidoli.ca/posts/contra-bao.
A Disorganized Opening
I always find it hardest to open a long winded writing like this, especially when I am dancing with those who are far more eloquent and read into proper philosophy than I am, because I insist on finding things out for myself as those findings are the truest form of what I end up believing. I guess I can start with the latest concerns about the spark of what used to be the Internet dying, and how what was interesting on it isn't, and how there are few places left to enjoy the perks of the past without simply succumbing to pure nostalgia[1]. I feel as though these places we used to idolize exist, but they are a very much highly curated club of a handful of like minded individuals who grasp what they have in hopes of never losing it, which is antithetical to the concept of open-ness that gave it life in the first place. What was an open door policy in the days of Usenet or hard-to-reach areas (because there was some inherent task or exercise required to get there) is now a stringent gatekeeping exercise to keep the distractors, the ne'er-do-wells, the AI bots, the "feds", out, a bunker in which to hold down in and hope things get better next to the flames that are dwindling as I type. These communities continue to find homes where they believe they are safe for a time, losing members along each hasty exit, from IRC to Forums, from Forums to Discord, from Discord to Teamspeak, from Teamspeak to wherever else, until, like a comet hurtling through the atmosphere, it loses cohesion, breaks up, and is no more, because the people who continue to get stepped on by these once-good services[2] that hear the call of the almighty dollar eventually give in or give up. The humble coffee shop might have raised prices back in the day, but at least it didn't sell you out.
A lot of how I conduct myself and where I spend the most time goes directly into enabling self-sufficiency and independence in as many aspects of my life as possible to avoid that fate, at the cost of setting up the proverbial shack down the road and hoping someone knocks on the door rather than myself going out and about to be "social". To me, this is the lifeboat, specially designed to sustain me through rough waters, and as a foundation to function, build, and grow further, and most important stab at the foot of anyone who dares tread on me. But, I've always been unhappy with the idea that I am just building something for myself, and opened up that "lifeboat" to others in some areas to give them the same level of protection I was building. Lain.la started as this initiative five and a half years ago, 50% an ego project to be proud of, and 50% a lifeboat from an internet that was only slightly overbearing to deal with at the time. Back then, advertising and mediocre services were my enemy, and boy does it seem so simple back then to be a rebel against that, compared to what is coming over the horizon today. And so, the waters have become rougher faster than I could build the boat around myself, and now we're losing Pomf at the risk of me being thrown overboard with one errant wave with it on board. A sacrifice to keep the greater mission on track. So I guess the flames are dying out around me, too, no matter how much lumber I tack onto the boat to keep it stable, because humanity accelerates to its inevitable conclusion with reckless abandon. But I persist, because the alternative is worse.
What Does a Lifeboat Mean to You?
I view myself as the owner of a lifeboat and the kindler of an ember of the past. I have never (purposefully) described the work that I do as anything but simple ideas taken to logical maximums inside a meager budget of time and wealth. That the only thing that is special about what I build is how I build it and how far I've gotten building it, and maybe to an extent the principles behind it. The rest is financial. Anyone with $3 million can blow me out of the water, but anyone with the same amount of resources as me I believe wouldn't do nearly as well, and they'd have to be forged in the same fires as me to reach these same convictions. That's, at least, what I tell myself at night.
A lot of my lifeboat is physical, because it feels as though the things I can grasp are the most sure. I have a house. I have almost always had a house. The alternative was not owning my land and home, which in itself is an affront to my need to be free from as many power structures as possible that could potentially influence me or sabotage my ideals, especially in unfair ways. I own my services the same way that I own my home. If it's mine to protect, I can protect it. And so, I feel most confident about the things that I am fully responsible for. This house is largely self-sufficient. My own water, my own sewage system, now my own power, and even some sustenance (it's a small farm). I do these things because it fits with my concept of independence but also because it is a lifeboat in its own right, a safe haven in a tumultuous world, free from potential inconveniences, interruptions, or attacks from companies we depend on, or malicious individuals driven by disdain for their personal situation.
I run my own services on top of my own servers. They were designed to be simple, fast, and free. I use them myself even. They've fallen into some level of disrepair just because larger projects demanded my attention (like the above), but they still stand for the most part. Now I run my own company, free to again be that lifeboat in a sea of shitty companies (I still have to work hard on this one). I even fix my own car.
I participate in a few communities that I believe share my ideals, and I stick around them because I feel valued but also because it is good to know I am not alone. These communities, however, require the same active vetting of its participants as I mentioned above, and ultimately that's where I see things going. Small pockets of those angry at the world hiding out in technologies left behind by the general masses, because again, that task or exercise to find them is sometimes enough of a ticket for admission, a sort of "we're glad you made it, have a seat" pat on the back.
What is the End State?
I guess my prediction is that some of the fires of the old internet haven't really gone away, because the people who still champion what it was still exist for the most part. We're maybe only 20 years out from what could be measured as a decline. No matter how much technology or corporate bureaucracy we steep ourselves in, people were behind it all, even now. Perhaps we, as humanity, have found ways to dehumanize ourselves in the pursuit of recognition by the machine, or for a large paycheck, or for some misguided propagandized ideal of serving your country or fellow man, but it was still people. I choose to believe that the people who value what we used to have still exist, and have done exactly what I have done, which is retreat into our lifeboats with our ideals intact, biding our time. Will any of us manage to do anything cohesive to take back what we lost remains to be seen. I'm not sure the environment in which we all operate exists to foster that anymore outside of purely local, one-off bright spots (embers as mentioned). Maybe there is something to be said for striving to be those embers in a dying fire, to exist as long as possible. But I don't see them ever rekindling as well. I think we have gone too far for that. There may be echoes of a time we considered better but that's all they really are, and chasing them will leave you going deeper and deeper into a maze of dreams to eventually end up lost. It is better to chase the ideals that brought about the products that we all enjoyed rather than chase the products themselves, and build what you think will save you.
It's certainly arguable that this is the pussy way out. That retreating and fortifying is exactly what "they" want you to do. But it's the most comfortable and the safest, and I won't blame anyone for doing it, because it's exactly what I'm doing.
Appendix
[1] I'm sorry, but your Windows 95 themed website isn't going to bring back what made that time period magical.
[2] Yes, even IRC was affected. Remember Freenode? It was that easy to take down a prior staple of internet communication. I got my start on Freenode, my real wake up call in the world, where my stupid ideas and stupid principles were ripped apart by those older and wiser than myself at the time, only for years later to have been ripped apart by some egotistical Korean "prince" who happened to have a sizeable war chest. Libera is its replacement, but it will never be the same, and some people were shaken loose by the move as you can see in this graph below, which validates my "comet" theory.
